


Reunion

by blockie317



Category: Berserk (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 13:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14285517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blockie317/pseuds/blockie317
Summary: Guts stopped short of where Casca stood, his eye widening as he took in her appearance. Her brown frock was gone, replaced by a gown made of hundreds of flower petals. Standing beneath the cherry tree, she looked like something from a dream. But Guts knew he was awake, and now after all these years, she was too.





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> This fic occurs following Berserk episode 355 and is my take on the the reunion I hope/pray Casca and Guts will eventually have.
> 
> Thank you Kentaro Miura for the world of Berserk and these wonderful characters.

"Casca!" Guts surged in her direction, her scream still ringing in his ears.

He stopped short of where Casca stood, his eye widening as he took in her appearance. Somehow, she was more beautiful than he remembered, more stunning than he could ever imagine. Her brown frock was gone, replaced by a gown made of hundreds of flower petals.

Standing beneath the cherry tree, she looked like something from a dream. But Guts knew he was awake, and now after all these years, she was too.

"Casca?"

She was breathing deeply, her hands shaking as they moved to cover her heart. Guts took a step closer, reaching his cannon arm towards her. He wanted to hold Casca, to be held once more.

Wait, he thought. You needed time, so will she.

The iron arm hovered in the space between them, looking alien in this idyllic forest with its falling cherry blossoms.

Usually, Guts didn't think much of his appearance, didn't mind that he was battered and bruised, or wore the history of his battles on his skin. Though now standing before Casca he felt more scar than man.

"Gu…Guts?"

He could hear the waver of her voice. Did he frighten her? Repulse her? Much had changed in the three years they were last truly together.

Now he felt more beast than human.

Guts couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. He continued to study his arm reaching towards her. Always reaching.

"Look at me," she said. The waver of her voice faded, replaced with steel. It was the voice of a commander. His commander.

Guts didn't follow her order, he couldn't.

He had failed her. Time and again. During the eclipse, he couldn't save her. After they were rescued, he'd abandoned her. And when they were reunited once more, and he was possessed by the beast that haunted him, what had he done?

In the end was he no better than Griffith?

Casca moved nearer, her own hand hovering just above his. "Look at me," she said, wrapping her fingers around his metal ones.

Guts knew his arm was prosthetic, knew he couldn't possibly feel her touch, but something like sparks shot up his arm.

"Casca?" He raised his eyes slowly, taking in the tiny details of her face. When their eyes met, he couldn't look away.

"You look different," she said.

"You too." He felt himself smile. "With your dress and hair, you look like a princess."

Casca's cheeks flushed red. "Don't tease. I look ridiculous...don't you think?"

"Nah, not a bit. You look beautiful."

A smile spread across her lips. Guts imagined himself leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers. He ached to taste her again.

"Guts," she said, her smile fading to a frown. "I remember it now: rescuing Griffith, that hell we were sent to, the monsters, but how did we escape? How did we get there to begin with?"

Guts gritted his teeth. He'd thought of this moment for years, of what he would say, how he would explain. But there was no explaining the madness they'd survived.

He took a deep breath before starting. "It was Griffith-"

"Griffith?" she interrupted. "His body was broken. How could he have possibly done...?"

Casca's mouth opened but no sound came out. As her fingers slipped from his, she fell to the ground like one of the cherry blossoms.

"Casca!" Guts unhooked Dragonslayer from his back and sunk to his knees beside her. "Are you all right?"

Casca curled into a ball, her knees pressed to her chest. Her body shook as she stared into nothingness.

Guts removed his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. For a moment he hovered above, uncertain of what to do or say, before moving to sit beside her.

"But why?" Casca said, tears streaming from her eyes. "Why would he sacrifice us?"

The years following the eclipse, Guts had asked himself that question every day. It had become his obsession searching for the answer, somehow finding meaning in the slaughter of his friends. He still didn't have an answer. It was only after his reunion with Casca and the formation of his new band he found he could think of anything else.

Shaking his head, he said, "I guess Griffith did it for his kingdom. His dream."

"Everyone died? Everyone…but us?"

"Yeah," Guts said, his own mind returning to the hellish landscape. Falling into the pool of blood of his dead comrades. Searching for his friends, hoping at least one of them had survived.

"Griffith did this? Griffith!" Casca shouted the name as she leapt to her feet. She opened her mouth and screamed. The noise was more howl than cry, more rage than grief.

When Casca finished wiping the tears from her eyes, she curled her hands to fists and launched herself at Guts. The first hit nicked his jaw, the second his nose. Guts caught himself before nearly tumbling to the ground.

"Hey," he shouted, "why the hell are you fighting me?"

"Fuck Griffith and fuck you and fuck this entire fucked up world!"

"It's not my fault!" Guts dodged her next punch easily and jumped to his feet. He towered over her, a wall of iron. Still Casca advanced, pounding her fists on his chest, punctuating each punch with the question why.

He let her beat at his chest a second longer, before grabbing her wrists. "Stop already. My armor will tear your hands up."

"Then take your stupid armor off!"

Guts brought one of her bloodied hands to his lips, kissing it gently.

Casca stared up at him. "What are you doing?"

"You did the same for me once." He smiled, lips stained from her blood.

As he kissed her other hand, she sagged against him. "I'm not angry at you."

"You can be. If it helps." Guts took a step away and started to remove his armor. Piece by piece, even his shirt, until all that was left was his cannon arm. He unhooked the apparatus and laid it gently beside Dragonslayer.

Guts stood bare before her.

Casca gasped as she took in all his scars, burns, and deformities. Guts was not the man she knew three years prior.

"I understand if you...you know...don't want to..." he said before turning away.

"Guts!" She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his back. They stayed like this for a second, Guts barely breathing. "After all these years, it's you I've wanted to see."

Guts pulled Casca towards him, holding her tight. He wanted to feel every inch of her. Her touch was the only thing that mattered to him now.

Casca ran her fingers, then lips, over the stump of his arm. "How did this happen?"

"An apostle, one of those monsters, had my arm. To reach you I had to cut it off."

"You cut off your arm?"

Guts squeezed her closer. "Had to."

She shifted her gaze to his missing eye. "And this too?"

"Another apostle grabbed my head and pinned me down."

She feathered a kiss over his eye lid. "You're always bleeding for me."

"It didn't matter," he said, pulling away. "In the end, I couldn't reach you."

"Don't be a fool."

Guts felt tears gathering in his eye. He blinked, trying to keep them at bay. "I'm sorry I couldn't…I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

"Guts."

"I wanted to be your shield. And I…" I failed you.

Guts looked at the ground, tears now flowing freely. He didn't think he would cry like this again, he didn't even know he could.

"Guts!" He felt a tug on his hand and fingers entwine with his own. "You did everything in your power to save me. I know that."

Guts didn't reply.

"We survived and now we're finally together," Casca said, stroking his cheek.

Guts leaned into her touch. When he looked at Casca, she was crying too.

xxx

Beneath the cherry tree they took turns holding each other.

Together again. At last.

**Author's Note:**

> I purposefully held off on Casca remembering the full extent of her sexual trauma for a number of reasons:
> 
> 1\. I liked the idea of Casca's memories returning slowly/being triggered by people or things (like how Guts reminded her of the eclipse/Griffith's body at the end of episode 355) because I think this is a pretty accurate portrayal of memory and trauma.
> 
> 2\. I'm thinking about further exploring Casca's trauma in another chapter, when the two become intimate again. Maybe somewhat mirroring Gut's experience when he first has sex with Casca.
> 
> 3\. But most of all, I wanted Casca and Guts to finally have one happy, peaceful moment. :)


End file.
